why don't the girls want to be hot?

my detailed plan on being the baddest heffa on the floor

You want to hear my mission for September? I don’t want to be cute…I want to be hot!

It’s actually my entire mission right now.

As I’m writing, I feel like my brain is filled with throwback teenage TV show monologues lmao. I’m such a nostalgic whore, but anyways.

I’m claiming this month to be my sexy saving September shred. I’ve felt like my brain hasn’t been working for a while. My attention span has been shot, I’ve been unmotivated, pushing myself to do daily tasks, and feeling overall blah. The only thing I’ve been wanting to do is scroll. After sharing some of my thoughts on my Instagram story, the divas were telling me, I’m exhausted.

I can admit that I am always on the go, with something on the calendar at all times and a bunch of things to do. I am also an overthinker and someone who is chronically online. Literally, I took a weekend to do nothing, which helped so much. I did not leave my house, I got my groceries delivered, I cooked and ate at home, and watched new and old movies. Even though it was just a weekend, it helped so much. I needed to get back to me.

Quite literally, for the rest of the year, I’m locking in with myself. I know it seems like I’m racing against the clock and in a rush, but it’s because I am! At the bottom line, I’m trying to get my shit together before 30. My goal is to be HOT. I’m calling it the Badder Bitch Shred. My birthday is coming up, and I have a list of things I want to do by/going into 30. My goal is to complete as much as I can by 30, but it is perfectly fine if it rolls over into the new year. It’s like a board game with myself going into my so-called 30s.

My So-Called-30s

With my recent journey, I’ve gathered that you have to decide to be hot every day. In my early 20s, it was easy, but with the grown woman changes as of late, I was looking around like…it’s time to upgrade this mf. It’s truly an inner dialogue of commitment. Then…honestly, when I look around, there’s no man in sight and no kids underway any time soon, so I might as well hop into the deepest part of my bag.

“I'm not putting no scrubs I ain't putting no garbage ima put the👏🏾 baddest 👏🏾 heffas on the flo 👏🏾 “

Being The Baddest Heffa On Tha Flo Mini Guide:

1. PUTTING ME FIRST

I mean, I feel like this is self-explanatory. I gotta put me first, Lucious! What that looks like is, whatever thought comes to mind long enough to stick, I’m going to go for it. Because why not? I gotta BFFR. My inner dialogue really has to decide if each decision goes along with my storyline of being the baddest on the floor or if it hinders that. I think of it as one of those carts from the 2000s magazines with the arrows that tells you your next choice and where you’ll end up.

2. CLOCKING INTO THE GYM

That JT TikTok sound that’s like “go be somebody bitch, go clock in”, might as well be my alarm because every morning I try to talk myself out of the gym, I’m really like do I want to look like a snack or be a snack. Now this can go either way but you get my picture! I’m realizing, like, damn, in order to be fine for real, I have to get tf up every day and put the Whataburger and margaritas down. I’ve been on a serious fitness journey this year and baby it is hard work. Being a bad bitch ain’t easy, but somebody gotta clock in, and I guess it gotta be me.

3. INVESTING INTO YOU

Investing in yourself is really 50% of the battle. When I look around IRL and URL, all of the women that got it together invest heavily into themselves. Whether that’s a luxury gym, laser hair removal, or going to the shop to get their hair done every week, it’s literally something. When Beyonce’ said she woke up like this, that hoe lied. The only thing about this is that while it costs, I feel like the ROI is so great because when you look good, you truly feel good. I can confidently say all of the beauty regimes I partake in, I never have buyer’s remorse.

I can honestly go way more into a detailed plan for upgrading myself to be the hottest miss thang on the streets. Thinking about how I’ve always pictured my future self, I knew it would take a lot of effort, but it’s so fun because I’m just a girl, and I’m my favorite passion project.

You’re the biggest and most important project you’ll ever work on, so let’s make it memorable and fun!

mwah 💋,

— India Monee’

Remember: “You are that bitch. You is that bitch. So be that bitch.” -Saweetie

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Journaling is my love language, and I plan on talking about it more, so from now on, I'm incorporating prompts for you! Answer it in the comments, and let’s chat, or let me know if you will journal about it privately. :)

JOURNAL PROMPT: how do you plan to upgrade your quality of life for the rest of the year?

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my current hottie anthem:

This song literally gives 2000s it girl vibes.

Obsessions at the moment:

• ClassPass! Use my code for one month free

• this TikTok dance

• trail mix (I have eras, and I’m in an era)