My So-Called-30s
my intrusive thoughts on rolling into a new decade
The moment I realized that 30 wasn’t *that* old, there was this girl I looked up to who did radio in the DMV, and on her 30th birthday, I thought she was the finest bitch on Instagram. She was in the best shape ever, beautiful, and at the top of her career. Quite literally everything that I looked up to at that time.
As my 30th birthday is coming faster than I can think; I feel like I’m shaking in my boots and in a race with myself to be the best me I can be. This is how I imagine waking up and turning 30…I feel like a whole new world is going to happen. In my head, I feel like while I’m aging in my sleep, the birthday fairy is going to sprinkle some extra sexiness on me, a fatter ass, and more money. All the girls I’ve watched turn 30 have only gotten better with time. It’s like, damn, how did you glow up even more?
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I wasn’t terrified of the thirties, though. Coming into an entire new decade with my frontal lobe fully developed seems like it comes with so much pressure. Now, is that pressure of society or my own personal pressures is what I’m trying to figure out?
When I was younger, I’ve always wondered how I would be as a grown woman…I just wanted to be like all the aunties around me. They were all glamorous in their own way, and I was constantly inspired by how they carried themselves. Because one thing about the aunties they had *seemed* like they had their shit together. Even in the music videos and black cult movies I binge-watched every day, the girls were fly from head to toe. There are certain things that I’ve pinpointed that I feel are “equal” to being a grown woman.
Dark lip liner, bamboo earrings, pixie cuts, titty tattoos, and ankle bracelets are peak-grown woman aesthetics. Having a bunch of plants, brown African home decor, and elephants are just some of the artifacts I equate to being grown. Growing up in the 99 and 2000s, the ladies around me embodied the personification of what you think a shea butter baby is. They smelled good, were glistened down, and they were always done. That’s exactly what I want to give.
Though the vibe isn’t the same, to my core, I am this woman, and I don’t care, lol. As I inch closer to a new decade, I’m constantly trying to figure out what I want to give at thirty. Even though I’m anxious, worried, and discombobulated about what to expect, I’m balancing overplanning in my head and just letting it ✨flow.✨ Since I’m 6 months out from crossing over into REAL grown woman land, it’s literally been the only thing on my mind. I feel like I have accomplished so much within the past two years that I’m so proud of, but I still have so many other things I want to cross off. I’ve made my own personal list of things to do in this era of the 30th prequel that I feel will help me be thirty, and flirty, and thriving.
My 30 For 30 List: Grown Woman Era
Have my dream body
Start to live a creative life
**redacted**
Travel more spontaneously
Build out my corner of the internet
Plan my 30th birthday
Breast reduction consultation
Rooftop movie or drive-in movie theatre
Get an aura photo taken
Become a plant ladyWrite 30 blog posts
Have photos taken
Have a boat day
Go to the library and do an activity
Pay off debt
Start my photo albums
Create some piece of art and put it in my house
Get a tattoo in memory of my TT
Worry less, do more
Make a signature scent
Go on a picnic and write
Finish writing my book
**redacted**
**redacted**
Become an expert in my favorite cocktail
Try speed dating
Create a budget I’ll actually use for long-term
Sell something for profit
Find my personal style
Cut my hair
With 200 days left, work is work; I’m here to work and get the job done. (If you catch this reference, please leave a comment hehehe.) I’M WORKING. I know it’s not like my life ends when you’re going into a new birthday, but it feels like a huge, brand-new start. As I write this, I am getting more excited about the change. While I’m no stranger to shaking the table and doing it for the plot, it still equally makes me anxious as much as I crave it.
Starting a new era is literally my favorite thing ever. It feels like you’re entering a new season of a TV show and creating a new YOU. They always say season three is when a series gets good, so it’s feeling like season 3 around this hoe. Ultimately, I want to be happy in this new age. I want to be made new just because that’s my personality. To me, 30 is giving peaceful, at ease, unfuckwithable, and getting all things of my desires. And if you know me, then you know…I gets down I don’t play. I want God and life to show me how good it gets. As long as I have my vision in mind, it will be okay.
They say the thirties is when things get good, and all the girls love it there…that’s what they saying. All of my over 30 girliepops, please check in in the comments and leave some words of wisdom.
If you loved this, love it, leave a comment, let’s be besties, and join the posse by subbing, sharing, and all that. I would love to feel like I’m not alone in this.
mwah 💋,
— India Monee’
Remember: “Celebrate yourself. Nobody knows what it takes to be you.”
a song that makes me feel like a grown woman:
Obsessions at the moment:
song: Kehlani x Jordan Adetunji
my FORVR Mood candle club scent: Main Squeeze
my new plants
buying print magazines
ah, I love this. Turning 30 in April so this resonates a bit close to home 😭
I love this! I truly feel like 30’s are what we actually thought our 20’s would be. I just turned 32 and I’m feeling like I’m in my prime. Still checking some things off your list!
I wish you well! It’s gonna be a great ride! ✨