i need a new storyline.
it needs a little shaping...
I did a 10k run today (Feb 8), and I’m like, who fucking idea was that. During the whole run, I was just thinking about how much my body hurt, why am I doing this, and how I need to figure it the fuck out.
‘It’ means my life. I hate when I get like this because I feel like I have to switch up everything. I don’t know if it’s because I have a good routine going, I’m kinda bored, or what it is…but I’m not feeling it.
It’s like I’m happy where I am, and I’m grateful…but like I want more. There’s this urge in me that's like, this is cool…this is iight…but it could be better, you know. It just feels like…the slow part of the story where the main character is in limbo and feeling stuck.
That’s how I feel. I feel stuck, but I know I’m not…and I’m trying to figure out what’s next. I haven’t been feeling creative or like pressed to post. It’s like I feel crippled by myself…but I don’t know why. I’m feeling frustrated just by life in general.
I’m just trying to understand how I am supposed to live my life while trying to worry about working this job I halfway care about…only because I’m supposed to…have enough money to pay bills and keep up with them all, stay on top of student loans, and care about having a good credit score, try to be available for the love of my life to find me, while swiping through the trenches of dating apps, also while trying to smile and look approachable when I’m outside, be in the gym to workout at least 4 times a week because I love a drink and I love cookies but I want a flat stomach and I can’t afford Ozempic anymore, have good skin while going through the changes that come with my period as I’m getting older…the aunties didn’t tell me about that one, all while having to feed myself every single day.
A bad bitch is tired.
I’m here to feel something and live life, and I can’t do that with all those tabs open. I keep feeling like this urge to do something else…like I feel like this isn’t for me…but I don’t know how to get to the next step. I’m just trying to figure out how to frolic and live my life.
Do I need to move? A new piercing or tattoo? Do I need to do something for the plot?
What is this…idk but I need some sparkle…
You took the words out of my mouth. This is literally how I feel right now
I feel everything you're saying but not being in a job you like can turn you into someone you don't recognize. So, we don't want that so what are you going to do this year to be in a position you like? It took me till now to realize even though my job is cautious sometimes I like where I'm at. With that being said you deserve to be at peace with the right everything. Also, maybe try doing something at home that brings you calm and relaxing mindset.
P.S. What is looking like a problem it's really a problem just God setting you up for your come up🥰 🙏🏾💜