365 days of paying rent

a letter of inner thoughts while living alone for the first time...

It’s been a whole 365 days since I signed the dotted line to voluntarily pay my own rent. I really could’ve stayed at my daddy's house until I wanted to, but my chateau is everything that I’ve always wanted. It came to me so randomly. Because I always want everything to be a production, I wanted to move out during Capricorn season for my birthday last year. When I started looking, everything happened so fast.

I actually spotted my place at a networking event; it was very poetic. I was standing on a rooftop drinking a cocktail with a friend when I saw this building and wondered how much the rent was. The location was top-tier, but I thought, mmm, it’s not the particular prime location I wanted. When I went to view the apartment, when I tell you everything was aligned. This girl who went to my college and knew my sister did my apartment tour; it had an office space, a free reserved parking spot, and was not far from my job.

I had to learn that things can be good even though they don't look exactly how I pictured them. My therapist talked me through the decision-making process. The place wasn’t in the location I wanted or in my specific timeline, and I had nothing pre-bought or prepared for the move-in. Yet it was perfect.

Living alone has been freeing. It’s the biggest and best gift I’ve given myself. Coming home to peace and quiet is 10/10, decorating my space feels like a large creative project that I love, and living in the city after the suburbs has awarded me the Carrie Bradshaw-esque life that I can get in Dallas.

Also, when I sat down and thought about it, most of the older women I know have never lived alone, ever. That is crazy to think about. I’ve gone away to college and had plenty of roommates, and I’ve moved across the country with my best friend, and we shared an apartment, but living alone just feels like a warm hug you need on your journey of growth stepping into womanhood. Having the space to just frolic around naked, screaming old Mary J. Blige or BossMan Dlow lyrics, and drinking champagne while doing my makeup is SO worth it.

Living at the Champagne Château (my apartment’s name) has taught me that sometimes you just gotta pull the trigger and make that decision and figure it out later. As a perfectionist also…I’ve learned that things take time…things can be a continuous project, and you can still be satisfied, you know.

Here’s a compilation of my thoughts and moments while living alone. Very raw, organic, and vulnerable…so keep that in mind.

mwah 💋,

— India Monee’

If you love YouTube, here are a couple of vlogs throughout the year that showed the process…